Depending on which research you read, 70 to 75% of women in recovery from addiction and alcoholism report having been sexually abused as children.Take a deep breath.That's right, 70 to 75%.Sexual abuse of children is a common occurrence, especially for girls.It is estimated that close to 40% of females in the US are sexually abused before age 18.Statistics can be misleading and inaccurate.Definitions can be manipulated for multiple reasons.Some children even lie about having been sexually abused.When it comes to statistics, I never know what to believe.What I do know is that large numbers of children are sexually abused as children and then are often sexually abused again as teens and adults.Percentages can be argued, and should be.Yet our children become teens and adults who abuse drugs and alcohol as a way to cope with the aftermath of childhood sexual abuse and the unspoken unwritten rules that develop in dysfunctional families.When these abuse victims get clean and sober, they are still left with the bewildering task of figuring out how sexuality can be experienced by an adult woman.Many turn away from sexuality and others become overly sexualized.Neither choice works that well in long term relationships.Balance and moderation have to be learned in all relationships, especially ones where intimacy is involved.The predilection to be in exploitative relationships has to be overcome.Broken trust, the inability to discuss what happened, and and the repression of feelings that can too easily become overwhelming are hallmarks of those who have been sexually abused.Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, in her classic book, Another Chance, and many others in the recovery field, discuss traits common to families with addiction.Three of the these traits are. Don't talk, don't feel and don't trust.It's a match made in Hell.Children are not only groomed to be sexually abused, the are also recruited into drug and alcohol use.Addiction comes next for many.The younger the age of persistent drinking and drugging, the more likely one is to become addicted.To complicate their sexual recovery these women face a mental health field that is not clear how to treat childhood sexual abuse.Many will tout their methodologies, but the research evidence isn't complete.The methods of treatment range from desensitizing exposure therapy to strictly behavioral reconditioning.One strategy that seems to help most involves reprogramming behavior,while still acknowledging the trauma, but not repeating it by pushing for recovered memories.There is much to be learned in the treatment world and there are different approaches that work for different people.What we do know is that everyone who is abused or addicted benefits from developing trust, learning to be aware of and communicating their experience.In short, Talk, Trust, and Feel is a great help.As family and friends of either addicts or abuse victims, this knowledge can help us be less judgmental and more available to those we love who are struggling with alcohol and drugs and abuse.This is not give them an excuse or a pass, but to focus on what helps them recover.
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