Saturday, September 15, 2012
Meeting Women for Marriage: When Dating Becomes Serious
After years of casual dating, are you now interested in meeting women for marriage purposes? Are you afraid you'll never find the right woman for a life partner? How will you know if a woman you meet might make a good wife? When a guy is younger, dating is often all about the next conquest.You meet a girl somewhere, date her a few times, then move on to someone else who attracts your attention.But when dating becomes serious, you're looking for a woman who could become your mate.To ensure you make the right choice for what should be a lifetime commitment, consider these factors when you are meeting women for marriage.."Family values.".While the term has come to represent a set of conservative values, we're not talking politics.When you're meeting women for marriage consideration, you're thinking of establishing a new family.Before you pop the question, you'll need to determine whether you and your girlfriend see eye to eye on family issues like these..• Having children.Do you both want children? How many? What are your respective ideas about discipline?• Finances.Do you both plan to work? Who will manage your budget? Will you keep separate or join bank accounts? Are you savers or spenders?• Sex.Do you both place the same importance on sex? How often? Do you both believe in monogamy?• Extended families.Have you met your potential in-laws? Has she met your folks? How do you think you will all get along?As awkward as it may feel to talk about these subjects, if you're not ready to ask these questions, you're probably not ready to get married.And if you wait until after you're married to learn the answers, you may be in for some rude surprises.The more your values coincide, the better.If you really care about someone but can't agree on some of these "family values," seek professional assistance.Pre-marital counseling can provide you the opportunity to reach compromises before they become conflicts.General compatibility.In addition to working out family-specific issues, consider the fact that you will be living under the same roof with someone else, day after day, and year after year.Long after the first blush of infatuation may have worn off, you want to be with a wife who is easy to be with.Marriage is high-maintenance enough without picking an incompatible spouse.So when meeting women for marriage, make sure you are compatible in as many of the following areas as possible..• Similar interests.Enjoying similar activities will make your time together fun.For instance, if you're both sports fans, you can watch the Super Bowl guilt-free.• Similar values.In addition to family values, having similar points of view on religion, politics, or what is important in life can be nice.Vegans and deer hunters can learn to peacefully co-exist, but the less compromise you have to make, the better.• Similar personalities.It's true that opposites attract --you don't have to be alike in every way.But your personalities should at least mesh well.Having similar energy levels or senses of humor, for example, may reduce the annoyance of extroverts living with introverts.• Similar backgrounds.Not absolutely critical, but the more you have in common, they easier it is to build a lifetime relationship.Coming from similar socio-economic backgrounds, having families with similar backgrounds - these can reduce some of the daily frictions.So now that you have a sense of what you're looking for when you start meeting women for marriage, it's just a matter of finding the right woman.When the time comes, be prepared to sit down and sort through your commonalities and differences.By better knowing what to anticipate, you'll go into marriage with a great head start.
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