Thursday, September 27, 2012

Dating After Divorce With Children - When To Start Dating Again?

Dating After Divorce With Children - When To Start Dating Again?


The divorce is final.The ex-husband, Bill says it is a sad time for him.His former wife Sandi said she's been through a living hell for the past year because of a damaged marriage due to Bill's infidelity.But in a conversation that I had with her, she said, "I feel better and stronger than ever.I had to dig deep to get through this divorce with my young kids but now have self-reliance because of my values." So what is next for Sandi? Well, like any other women in her situation she will be faced with dating after divorce with children.Sandi is a beautiful young woman who had her heart set on family life with her and Bill raising their family together as Mr.And Mrs.Bill Jones (not their real last name).Now that dream is shattered.No doubt she will be motivated to re-create that dream with someone else.But before she can do that she will have to start dating available men and see if she can find 'Mr.Right' who is willing to take on her and the children.If you were thinking Sandi has it made because she is rich (Bill is very successful and a multi-millionaire) and beautiful and she will have guys falling at her feet wanting to marry her, think again.If you are a divorced woman, who has little ones, finding guys to date who want a ready-made family is no easier for her, than it is for you.In reality she has a much harder road to climb.A lot of men will probably be interested in her for her money not the total package.Will she be able to sort out the real love of her life from the impostors?No doubt having kids and dating brings challenges.Your kids wish that you and their dad were still together.Their life has radically changed and depending on the ages of your offspring they may be very angry about the divorce.On the other hand, you, just like Sandi Jones, would like to have an honest, loving and caring man in your life to complete a family unit.Let's face it; no doubt, it is tougher for women dating after divorce with even one child than a dad who is divorced with one kid.If the man gets married again his new spouse will only have to deal with his boy or girl every other weekend or so.The rest of time his ex is the mommy and caretaker for the child.It may not sound fair, but that is the way it usually is.So, as a single mom you really need to be careful when entering the dating game.The key is to really get good at sizing a guy up and figure out if he is just looking for a friend with benefits and you fit the bill because he offers a better alternative to being alone.Or are you dating a man who is open to dealing with the complications of a ready-made family.That is what you need to figure out before bringing your brood into the picture.It can work when divorced men become step dads and fall in love with the total package, mom and kids.A blended family can create a successful new family unit when both partners were previously married and have been divorced.But here is what is most important to remember as a single mother dating.Do not introduce any man to your children until you know without a doubt that he will be there for the long-term.Granted, it may turn out that after bringing him into the fold, for whatever reasons the relationship just can't go to the next level.But if he is a good guy he will have had a positive impact on your children and they should be able to deal with the ending of your relationship.On the other hand if he is the one for you, and can embrace your children and the responsibilities of a family, then your dream has come true.Here is the bottom line, whether it's Sandi (the former Mrs.Jones), or it's you, as a woman dating after divorce with children you must put the kids first.The worst thing you could do is introduce your children to every Tom, Dick and Harry that you may date once or twice and then they disappear.Secretly, your kids would like to have a great guy become part of the family.So don't get their hopes up by introducing them to a man who will only be there for the short-term.Date intelligently like I believe Sandi will and put your kids first.

Dating After Divorce With Children - When To Start Dating Again?



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